Most of us must have scrambled to make New Year resolutions recently. But did anyone contemplate on how to better our dealings with others and be a winner in the game of life?
This is an extremely important art in today’s corporate world where one should not only win and keep friends but also win over ‘enemies’.
Chanakya says: “He should win over those of them who are friendly with conciliation and gifts, those hostile through dissensions and force” (11.1.3)
There are two categories of people whom each one of us has to deal in life; either they are friend or enemies.
Dealing with friends
We have to accept that friends are the sunshine in our life. Can we live without the buddies who stand by us in thick and thin? But the first rule to have a friend is to become a good friend yourself.
According to Chanakya, the way to deal with them is through conciliation and gifts. So be there when they require you. The best investment in any friendship is your ‘time’. Listen and guide them when they are confused and frustrated.
The other way to win friends is by gifts. No person in this world is unmoved when they receive gifts. It’s a human psychology to expect gifts. Always put some thought into the gift you are giving. Select something that would not only be useful but also likable. And give it with a smile and genuine joy in your heart.
Whatever the case, maintain equanimity while dealing with both types. Win yourself and then win others.
Dealing with enemies
It’s ideal not to have enemies. But let’s face facts—they are all around even if you do not want them. Whether in the guise of competitors or full-blown foes, they are eternally around for us to contend with.
But the biggest problem with most of us is that we try to fight the enemy alone. This is sure shot way to lose the battle. You should, on the contrary, have a team with you before you fight them.
In the Upanishads, a student asks the teacher, “Why does the evil win?” The Guru replied, “Because the good are not united!” Once you have a strong team, it’s easy to win over competition. You could even create a split in the enemy and then attack them with full force.
Whatever the case, maintain equanimity while dealing with both types. Win yourself and then win others. As our scriptures say, “He who is even-minded with friend and foe is considered a wise man.”
Dr Radhakrishnan Pillai is an Indian management thinker, author, and Founder of Atma Darshan and Chanakya Aanvikshiki. Dr Pillai has extensively researched Kautilya’s Arthashastra, the 3rd century BC treatise and incorporated it into modern management.